The Immunization Status of Your Favorite Disney Characters

To start, I want to say that this post was directly inspired by George Estreich’s Immunization Status of Magic Kingdom Celebrities, originally posted on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. In fact, go there and read that. I’ll wait.

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Okay, now that you’ve read the OG Disney vaccination post, here are my three contributions to the compendium:

Aladdin

Aladdin & AbuAs a street rat, Aladdin didn’t receive any vaccinations as a child, but considered himself fairly safe due to community immunity—the vaccination schedule is strictly adhered to in Agrabah. Unfortunately, he didn’t take Abu’s status into account, and was surprised to learn that he’d contracted both Herpes B and the measles from his best friend. Fortunately, Jasmine recognized the symptoms of the simian herpes virus before it could prove fatal.

 

Pinnochio

No StringsBefore he was carved by Geppetto, the tree from which Pinnochio was born had been preventatively vaccinated for Dutch Elm Disease.

 

Linguini

LinguiniBecause he wasn’t raised as a pet, Remy was never vaccinated against leptospirosis. As a result, Linguini was infected along with several La Ratatouille customers. While Linguini was able to piece together the source of his infection and receive penicillin during the early days of his illness, his customers, not knowing that they were exposed to food prepared by a rodent, weren’t as lucky. One suffered from acute renal failure.

What would be the vaccination status of YOUR favorite Disney character? Let us know in the comments!