Kill Refurb Marry: Songs From Disney Animated Films

Kill Refurb Marry Blog HopYou know that super fun game, Kill Boff Marry?  Estelle from This Happy Place Blog and I play a WDW-themed version called Kill Refurb Marry on the second Wednesday of every month. And now we’ve invited all of YOU lovely people to play along. In fact, you can see a full list of all of the beautiful bloggers who’re participating this month.

This is the twelfth Kill Refurb Marry Blog Hop! I can barely even believe it! This month–just in time for movie night with the ones we love most–we’re sounding off on our favorite (and least favorite) songs from Disney Animated Films.

Can you even BELIEVE this topic? You know it was Estelle’s idea because it’s a total brain twister. Go ahead … try to figure out which Disney song you’d marry. Only listen to one song for the rest of my life?! Ugh. There are just so many many many amazing Disney songs. How will you possibly pick?! Good thing we get to start with the bad …

Kill:A Guy Like You (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

This song is terrible. It’s performed by the gargoyles, led by Jason Alexander. He is many things … but a singer is not one of them. Then you have to look at the lyrics: in a film about how your personality is more important than looks, the song spends its entire just-shy-of-three-minutes running time talking about Quasy’s less-than-stellar looks (in a pretty cruel manner, if you read the subtext there).

Not only is it poorly written and poorly performed, but it doesn’t even really fit into the overall feeling of the movie. It’s too goofy, silly and lighthearted to ever feel truly at home in the middle of Hunchback. Although there is one moment where they’re talking about the other potential suitors Essie might leave “dangling,” and they show dolls literally hanging from a gallows. That is some inappropriately dark and singularly unfunny shit, Disney.

This song is so coated in weak sauce. I feel badly because I know Alan Menken wrote the music for this one. And maybe it’s a masterful song. I’ll never really know for sure because it exists in a wholly bizarre context that my brain will never be able to seperate it from. So it’s better to just kill it.

Honorable Mention: What Made The Red Man Red (Peter Pan) because racism.

Refurb: I’m Wishing / Someday My Prince Will Come (from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)

We all know about me and Snow White. (We don’t get along.) I find her voice so awfully grating. You can tell me all day about how her operatic twittering was emblematic of the 1930s. But at the end of the day, she is still a burbling, warbling mess. A lot of her words are nearly indecipherable, and I really just don’t like the performance!

Here’s the truth of it: there’s a rumor on the Internet that, after her turn as Snow White, Walt locked voice actress Adrianna Caselotti into a contract so that she could never perform on stage or film again. If it is true (and I don’t think it is), I’d contend that he did this not, as the story goes, to “protect” Snow White’s unique voice … but because he wanted to spare the world of the horrors of her ear-puncturing tones. And I think that’s all that really needs to be said about that!

Now, I’d be happy if they took out Snow’s voice and redubbed her with an entirely new voice actress. As is, I like the music a good deal–it’s optimistic and lovely. And the novelty of the fact that she’s performing a duet with her own reflection in I’m Wishing never really wore off for me. However, since we’re tweaking and reforming, why don’t we go for a sultrier, jazzier vibe, a la this version from Spanish musician Andrea Motis:

Marry: Something That I Want (Tangled)

I am sure everyone thought I was going to pick the mournfully beautiful climactic love song from Rapunzel’s epic film … but I went another way. Instead, what you’re (hopefully) listening to right now is the song that played over the films adorably inventive, beautifully drawn caricature-inspired closing credits. (Can’t not mention Shiyoon Kim, the incredibly talented character designer who drew the images in the credits.)

This song makes me insanely happy. It’s perfect with the whimsical drawings and really builds on the joyously happy vibe that fills my heart whenever I see Tangled. It’s great way to breathe new energy into a low day or pump up a happy day–entirely independent of its inclusion in the film. In fact, of all of the songs listed here today, this is the only one I can listen to without thinking of it in its Disney context.

Honorable Mention: True To Your Heart (Mulan) because deliciously danceable irony and Stevie Wonder. And those magical fairy sparkles. I just wish Stevie could see how they curl around him.

Thanks so much for reading! Don’t forget to click here to check out Kill Refurb Marry posts by other Disney bloggers!  And make sure you come back on September 9 for Kill Refurb Marry with Disney Parks Transportation!! 

If you want to play along, write your own post and add it to the list! (If you don’t have a blog, zap an e-mail to melissa@mouseonthemind.com. I’d be happy to host your guest post for the next round of KRM!)