Kill – Refurb – Marry: Monorail Resorts

You are probably familiar with the popular parlor game, Kill – Boff – Marry, where given the choice between three things, you must decide which you’d murder, sleep with or spend the rest of your life with. Estelle and I love to hate that game, but last month, we played with several attractions from the original IllumiNations era of Walt Disney World. And we had so much fun that we’ve decided to do it again … this time with Monorail Resorts!

As always, these are our opinions, so if you don’t like them … write a guest post and let everyone know what you think!

KILL: Grand Floridian Resort

Grand Floridian Resort
The Grand Floridian Resort from the Seven Seas Lagoon

This is such a cliche, but I really just don’t like the Grand Floridian Resort. Even though there are a ton of big, stuffed couches, and it’s technically comfy and cozy … meh. Despite all of the deep, pillowy seating, it’s just super stuffy and unwelcoming. And there’s a giant bird cage in there. And it’s so generically, boringly like my grandmother’s living room. There are really no relaxed, low key restaurants at the resort. And even the public outdoor spaces feel closed off. It just feels exclusionary and not very Disney. Kill it! And make way for something more modern, more comforting and more … like somewhere I’d ever stay ever.


REFURB: Polynesian Resort

Polynesian Resort (by AtDisneyAgain)
The Polynesian Resort (Photo by At Disney Again)

I like the Poly. I love their beach. I love their bar. I love their Kona Cafe. It’s not as cozy and warm as the other monorail resorts–the bar on the second floor is too small, and the wicker chairs in the lobby are criminally uncomfortable. I do appreciate the comforting sense of familiarity and welcoming energy running throughout the resort, but the whole place feels very very DATED. It’s dark and dingy and … old. And the lobby, while beautiful, is loud. Too loud. (Think about it: the Contemporary Resort literally has a giant piece of heavy machinery running through it every few minutes, and it feels quieter there.) I’d love to see the whole lobby brighter and fresher … and quieter. I don’t know how you achieve that last one. But seriously. It’s so loud in there. I want a lobby where I can relax in peace. And there is no peace to be had in that place.


MARRY: Contemporary Resort

The Contemporary Resort A lot of people don’t agree with me, but to me, the Contemporary is home. It’s where we stayed during my first ever Walt Disney World vacation, and I have so many, many fond memories there. It’s also where I stayed during my honeymoon. And where I eventually bought my DVC points. There’s just something about it. The coziness of the lobby and lounges. The modern warmth of The Wave. The hustle and bustle of the fourth floor. Oh, the fourth floor! I could go on about the that for pages and pages: the bleeps and bloops from the arcade, the constant hum of people at Chef Mickey’s, and the familiar symphony of monorail sounds. I could sit in the Contempo Cafe and take it all in for hours … if only the Magic Kingdom weren’t a quick 10 minute walk away. It’s home to my favorite bar (The Top of the World Lounge), my favorite breakfast buffet (The Wave) and the best non-Park views of Wishes and the Electrical Water Pageant. I love it, love it, love it. And I hope it never changes.

So that’s my list. Share yours in the comments below!


Now go see what Estelle thinks! Ultra special love and hugs to my friend At Disney Again, who graciously allowed us to use his beautiful photo of the Polynesian Resort. 

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