Welcome to the fourth post in the Imagineering Awesome series on Mouse on the Mind! You can access all of the posts by clicking on the link at right.
Today’s post comes to us from the lovely (if slightly crazy) Leah from The Magical World Of … She also stepped outside the box. In a predictably unpredictable way. You’ll see …
But, based on some of the recently successful movies and video games of today, I think this idea could have some serious draw power.
I want to create an It’s a Small World attraction where you can bludgeon the dolls to death.
Hey, where ya going? Okay, just before you grab the butterfly nets, hear me out.
[Big Bro’s note: Those are straight jackets.]
First of all, this is self-defense. I’m just trying to get the dolls before they get me. More on that here.
But I’m thinking some of that technology from Toy Story Mania would do many a tired parent of a screaming toddler, or worse, eye rolling teenager some good. Call it cathartic.
[Big Bro’s note: You mean mom?]
Everyone is equipped with a shooting gun, much like the one you’re given in Toy Story Mania, but with a few more gadgets. Like, instead of just throwing a hoop over the cute alien dolls, you bludgeon those freaky little sing songers with knives, crossbows, and the occasional hand grenade.
[Big Bro’s note: An RPG never hurt anybody either.]
And the best part is, when you shoot enough dolls, they stop singing and start crying in pain. They’ll even shout things like “I would have gotten away with it too, if not for ya meddlin’ tourists!”
Once you’ve hit a certain level, the dolls will reveal their true demon selves. Tiny horns will sprout out of their tokenized headwear and they’ll start shooting lasers at you from their disproportionately and unsettlingly large clicking eyeballs.
[Big Bro’s note: I remember the day you did that. You ever gonna put that stuff away?]
It’s like the Hunger Games, Play It! version of your parents’ favorite childhood ride.
Because you might not make it back alive.
We can also get creative with some other obstacles along the way. Maybe you get bonus points for overthrowing the bastard who suggested you go on this ride in the first place, “Because it’s a classic!” they said. Well, enjoy the classic sewer water that hasn’t been changed since 1971!
If we really wanna get existential, we can give each boat the option of blowing up the other boat for mega bonus points and a giant Mickey Mouse plush doll. Dark Knight style.
The ride will culminate in a massive Frankenstein doll rising from the water in front of your boat. His skin will be a patchwork of different skin colors from all the nations represented, mixed with the actual skin of people who’ve previously lost the game.
At this juncture, your weaponry will be fueled by the tears of the dolls you’ve slaughtered, so the better you aim early in the ride, the better your chance of survival.
So there’s my submission for Disney’s next big upgrade. I expect a phone call any day now. Not because they want my idea, but because they want to have me committed.
[Big Bro’s note: We’ve already tried, they won’t take you.]
But hey, if I have lost my sanity, I think we all know why…
Who’s lining up behind Leah and I? Let us know in the comments!